October 28, 2021 – If you have followed Jennifer’s story over the past 18 months, you’ll know that she has wrestled with Stage IV inflammatory breast cancer. Last year, during the height of the Covid 19 pandemic, she followed the doctors’ advice and endured chemotherapy and all its side effects, including hair loss, weakness, nausea etc. She then underwent a radical mastectomy and radiation treatments through till Christmas 2020. All of this, she went through alone because of the hospitals not allowing support people to accompany her.
This year, 2021, started off with Jennifer healing and feeling much better. But that relief was short-lived as metastatic pleural effusion came back, and has been causing her the grief of breathing difficulties since March of this year.
Jennifer underwent several procedures to draw the fluid off her lungs, and then had catheters installed on each side of her torso as she required draining several times a week, and then on a daily basis. Jennifer was offered an expensive oral chemotherapy regimen back in the summer, as it was thought that it would hopefully reduce the amount of fluid being generated in her pleural spaces around her lungs and give her some relief. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case; the side effects were extreme nausea and insomnia, and Jennifer deemed that the treatment wasn’t worth the reduced quality of life, and opted for palliative care only.
Jennifer’s time with us is growing short. As she does not wish to die a natural death in hospice due to suffocation, she has chosen to use medical assistance in dying to spare herself the indignity and suffering that the cancer will bring if she should wait for death to come to her.
I’ve created this website for two purposes. The first being a place to honour Jennifer, where you can leave your messages of kindness and support for Jennifer, so she can spend her last days reading them and feeling your love for her. After she is gone, this website will be set up as a memorial to her and will be where the family will post information about the celebration of life that will be arranged at some point in the future.
So please, if you’ve kind words to share Jennifer, click ‘comment’ below and write your comment in the box that appears. For the time being, they will be unmoderated, so do Jennifer and the family the kindness of being polite at this time that is sensitive and difficult for us. Thank you.
~ Dawn Stilwell, Jennifer’s Sister
Jennifer passed away on November 13th, 2021 at 11:33 am, in her mother’s arms with her sisters and her best friend by her side. The family truly appreciates everyone who stopped by to show support for Jen in her final days. Thank you for helping to show Jen how much we all loved her.
Over the past many months I read the messages that Jennifer posted documenting her struggle with this disease. I often approached them with dread and trepidation but ultimately found that Jennifer’s candour and frank dialogue took the edge off of the difficulties that she was sharing.
Two weeks ago I asked Jennifer whether she would like to listen to a poem that I wrote while thinking about her circumstances. I also gave her the option to tell me to go blow smoke in the event that I was being presumptuous. She listened to it, thanked me for thinking of her at this time and was kind enough to say that she liked it. The text is below.
***
there are waterfalls
if autumn is our genesis
we are leaves upon the breeze
some alighting on the water
some carried to the sea
though tarrying in lazy eddies
strained through a fallen tree
whether plunged down tortured, bursting channels
though drifting on the lee
there are waterfalls in many courses
something greater wills this to be
when the passage asks too great a burden
we can sometimes choose to be free
does nature ask then nothing of us
we may thrive or simply be
the route is ours to be determined
er zijn veel paden naar de zee
This is hard. I have so much love for you my dear friend. You are such an amazing human being. I remember the first time I saw you. At the dance on Seminole, I was so intimidated by your awesomeness. You were definitely the coolest person I had ever met. I can’t remember how I ended up at your apartment one day but I got to know you little by little and then all of a sudden we are making candles in my store and you are there supporting me during a challenging time in my life. I still have one of those candles and I will light it for you, in honour of you. I am forever grateful our paths crossed and you were a part of my journey.
Dear Jen
Sending you all of my Love and strength as you move to the other side.
You have fought the good fight for the last 2 years and still managed to smile ,keep in touch with friends and go back to work.
I admire your strength you are one of a kind.
I remember our childhood years well and I smile when I think of our bike rides ,ice skating.and the fireworks at the park.
I love you and I pray for your peace and comfort
Goodbye for now not forever
Say hello to my parents and your grandparents for me
💚🍀🙏
I’m late as always. … I so admire your courage, your honesty, and your strength in realizing you need to do what’s best for you…. I will be lighting a candle for you and positive light your way .. I have no other words… may the gods light your path … ❤❤❤
Hey Turtle Lady-It’s said that turtles are a symbol of life and support the world. I know that turtles will always make me think of you. Not just for your love of them but your life and support of others. How you help family and friends, your unfailing work ethic and lovely sarcastic sense of humor. I wish I had the power to take away your pain, hell, take away your cancer, to give you more time. I’m glad that at least we had some time together in this life and maybe more in the next life. I don’t want to say good bye because that seems so final and I’m sure we’ll meet again. I’ll bring coffee. Instead I’ll say what I always said to you every morning when you left work, good night Jen!
❤️Penny
Dear Jennifer,
It has been so long since we have spoken and I am at a loss for words. I’d like you to know that I have been thinking about you and I am in awe of your courage and bravery. I hope for peace and tranquility for you and whatever adventures you may seek in the great beyond. I am saving the last dance for you. You know the song. Safe travels.
David Meredith
Hi Jenn.
I’ve been on your website about 15 times trying to come up with something appropriate to write, trying to figure out what I want you to know, and how to say good bye. Like everyone else, I wish that this had never happened to you. The 7 year old in me wants to stomp my feet and rant about how unfair this is but the adult in me realizes that life is often not fair.
Your courage astounds me. I read somewhere, sometime, that you should try to be the traits that you admire most when you lose someone so I’m going to try to be a braver person to honour you.
I wish I’d had the opportunity to know you better. Your work ethic was inspiring and your dedication to our team and your role was admirable.
I’m truly thankful that you have been given some control back at the end of your journey. I wish you peace and a gentle end to your suffering…although it’s incredibly difficult to say good bye. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you everyone for your kind words. I love you all and will miss you dearly. I have no regrets of the life I’ve lived and am anxiously awaiting the start of whatever it is that comes next, I am ready for peace.
Jennifer,
I am not good with words whatsoever. It has been many many years. Like others have said, your work ethic was one to remember all these years later. I always knew coming in on day shift that I wouldn’t have to worry about walking into a gong show and was always a pleasure when working afternoons, you coming in with your coffees. When looking at my godawful tattoo, I will always think of you. Hopefully your turtle tattoo looks better than mine all these years later 😂 I know you’re at peace, rest easy. ❤️❤️❤️
Hi Jennifer,
I know we’ve only met a handful of times, but I’ve always really liked you.
When my dad first became involved with and subsequently married Dawn, I had a lot of negative feelings and emotions about the entire situation. I was an angry teenager and I wasn’t as good to Dawn as I should have been. For a while, I think that I liked Dawn’s sisters more than I liked her – you were always good to me. You didn’t have to be. You could have just written me off as Paul’s daughter and decided I wasn’t really a part of the family, but you didn’t.
I remember the year I came to visit for Thanksgiving and one of the desserts was chocolate cake, because someone remembered I didn’t like pie. I don’t remember for sure if it was you, because it was a while ago and I didn’t know you well, but when I asked my dad he said it probably was as you were always in charge of desserts, so I have to assume you had some part in what is one of my most treasured Thanksgiving memories. I know it probably sounds like such a minor thing – just bringing an alternative dessert for a picky kid, why would that be a treasured memory? – but it had such a big impact on me, the fact that someone who barely knew me remembered something like that and cared enough to take that into account the next Thanksgiving.
It’s been heartbreaking to read your updates on Facebook regularly about everything that’s been going on. I have a lot of respect for the way you write about it, between the matter-of-fact and clinical way you discuss what’s going on without fluffing and sugarcoating it, and the fact that you’re strong enough to talk about what’s going on in the first place. I don’t know if that’s something I’d be able to do in your shoes, giving your friends a detailed look inside your life while you’re going through something so difficult. You’re too young to be leaving the world so soon, or in such an awful way. It’s really not fair.
Between these comments I’m seeing up above and my own memories of you, it seems like you’ve touched a lot of lives in a really lovely way, even for those who didn’t know you well. You’re a great person who is going to be deeply missed by a lot of loved ones who love you dearly. I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope that you rest peacefully.
The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it. — Hubert. H. Humphrey
Jenn,
It’s taken me so long to be able to put pen to paper. It is an honour to be called your best friend. I don’t know where time has gone but it feels like yesterday that I met you at Mike’s place. I have to thank Mike for having to work and passing my number along to you.
Who would’ve known, that, that night out was the beginning of a 24 year friendship.
I know our lives took different paths but you know you have a special friendship that no matter how much time has passed, you can pick up where you left off.
I am so thankful for the beautiful memories I have. When I close my eyes I relive all the fun times together at Changez. The numerous times for breakfast at The Whistling Kettle and The LumberJack. All the nights doing homework and having coffee at Robbins.
My love for you will remain forever just like the precious memories.
You are an amazing, brilliant, strong, courageous woman that never ceases to amaze me.
Thank you for being a part of my life and for being my best friend 💖.
To Infinity and Beyond!
Melissa 💗💖💗
I LOVE YOU 💗
The Rainbow Bridge awaits this endearing special Soul who has chosen a path in service to those who Choose! She will Be welcomed as the Sky Parts the Seas in her ALL encompassing Feminie Beauty. A blessing to all she has come in contact with along the way, for they not know, well they do now. We remember how those Touch our Lives while in the physical, yet beyond the physical is where she will Reign!
Many Blessings to YOU B💖th for having the courage and strength to say….see ya Soon. Until the Next Time! When the Star Gazer Tiger Lily appears Jenn is near, awaiting her presence as essence to all that are Dear. 🌈🌈🌈
I’m not good at saying goodbye but I know that the chance to say goodbye is a gift.
You will always be the voice of unconditional acceptance with a side of dark humour that helped me survive my teenage years.
I tried to think of something poetic to say but I really can’t top that classic about light beer and a canoe that you left in one of my yearbooks.
Thank you for being my friend. The world will seem a lot more watered down after you leave.
Jen,
There really is nothing more that could be said about J.ELLIS. Like a lot of those who have written here over the course of the past few weeks, I too have not known you very long. And as they say, most small packages, like our friendship, come with a big bang!
I call you J.ELLIS here because that’s how I knew you before we met over the phone when I was brought back from the farm team. And I’d often say “who the fark is this J.ELLIS and why in the hell is she in my fax queue!!??” And then we eventually met and got to know each other on the phones and skype from 1030pm to 7am. I’m not sure if I would have lasted as long as I did at Buckland had I not met you to be fully honest. You were there to talk me off ridiculous mental cliffs time and time again with unabating patience, finding different avenues that eventually lead to some understanding. You felt more like an older sibling than a co-worker. You were so understanding but yet really matter of fact and unrelentingly searching for and forthcoming with knowledge…. actionable knowledge based decision making data!!!! It blew my mind time and time again how you were able to cite HS Codes for the most random things… like cocaine which I threw at you cause I was sure it would stump you. But alas, you were not!
But beyond work and your impeccable work ethic, we were there for each other. You with doubts and fears and annoyance with cancer; and me with my crumbling marriage. To quote you “we are friends of a million words”. Your genuine nature shines bright through all your actions; at least the ones I’ve seen at any rate. I am so glad that I’ve met you and feel so honoured that you were able to fit me in for a face to face a week and some change ago. I’ve met my heroes before but I’d trade away a million meetings with Kirk Hammet for just one more day with you Jen. But as that old country song goes “we’ll meet again.. don’t know where, don’t know when but I know we’ll meet again some sunny day”
Good bye for now my sister from a different mister. Visit some time if you may.
Love you,
Haim Solomon
‘What is lovely never dies, but passes into another loveliness, stardust or seafoam, flower or winged air.’ – Thomas Bailey Aldrich
‘Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality.’ – Emily Dickinson
‘To die will be an awfully big adventure.’ – Peter Pan by James Barrie
Letting go is such a courageous yet beautiful choice under your circumstances. May your spirit soar in its new freedom; a mysterious journey those you leave behind have yet to experience. After all, in the end, it’s what we all must do at some point. A birth is a wonderful thing. No reason death cannot be if we are willing to love enough to let go. You’ve got this!
As I sit and thinking of you today, knowing journey on earth is near its end, I am so in awe of your strength. I have followed your journey through Facebook and have admired your strength and determination to take this chapter on yoir own terms. I feel you have shown us all that in the face of uncertainty you have faced it head on and done things your way. You have shown my self as well as many others what true strength and courage truly is. Sending much love and hugs your way. See you on the other side.♥️
Thinking of you this morning Jen – and will be carrying you in my heart as you make your journey to the next life ♥️
We were so young when we spent time together – and that makes your place in my heart even more important.
I send you my love – peace – and will lift your soul to the other side in my prayers. God bless you Jen
I met Jenn at Everest College in the Medical Office Administration program. We had a great bunch of ladies. We had a lot of laughs. I heard tales of Jayce, he was just a pup then. I will forever keep fond memories of her in my heart. Jenn I will remember you always, and I will always admire your courage.
I’ve thought of a million things I could say to you but as I sit down to write this none of them seem right.
I am thankful for all the time I got to spend with you growing up. I always looked forward to family functions as I knew I’d get to see you. Because of a change in circumstances I didn’t see you for a few years and I always planned on coming to visit you but unfortunately life got in the way. We always think we’ll have more time but sadly that’s not the case anymore. I regret not seeing you when I could have but I’m grateful that I did get to see you last week and that you got to meet Jaxon. I know he won’t remember it but it means the world to me that he got to meet his great aunt.
You’ve been dealt an unfair hand and had a lot of choices made for you. You’ve decided to make the choice to end your pain on your own terms which is very courageous. As that day gets closer it’s becoming more real but I understand that it’s in your best interest. I will miss you dearly and at every family event going forward it will always feel like something is missing; you.
I love you so much aunt jen,
Until we meet again <3
“The connections we make in the course of a life – maybe that’s what heaven is” – Fred Rogers
Jennifer
I have known you since the Dover Centre days. I admire your strength and courage throughout your battle and your decision to transition in grace and dignity. Rest in Peace
Jenn, you were one of the best people I have had the opportunity to work with. I admired you for your excellent work ethic and now I admire you for bearing this illness with great fortitude. I wish you strength and peace.
I met Jennifer at Ambassador brokerage back when I first stumbled into this industry in 2004. I worked the afternoon shift and she’d routinely start the Sunday midnight shift by placing 2 massive coffees from Tim Hortons on the counter. I greatly respected her coffee addiction, dry sense of humour and industry knowledge. I learned so much from her. She was (and is) an endless source of knowledge for me to lean on.
I left Ambassador but our paths crossed again at Buckland years later. When I found out that Jennifer was there it instantly made my transition to a new job much more comfortable. I worked again with her for 5 years. We had some good times there discussing music and life. This last year and a half has been devastating.. and but her ability to push forward has been absolutely incredible.
I’ll miss you Jennifer. You have touched many lives and left your mark on all of us. I’ll think about you whenever I see the West Chicago shipment roll in.
2000A as in amazing.
Jennifer,
It’s not often that I’m lost for words, but this is sure one of those times.
I remember when I first met you at Buckland. I had been there about 6 months before we met face to face because of the different shifts we worked. I remember saying to you- Oh Jenn, you’re not a ghost and you said neither are you- We both had a good chuckle after that.
I was devastated when I was told about your diagnosis. I reached out to you as a friend letting you know that I was there for you. I would log on early in the morning just to chat with you and ask how you were doing. I would sometimes just listen and other times try to answer your questions as best that I could. Although our cancers were similar, they were very different.
After everything you had gone through, your cancer came back with a vengeance. It’s been been a very long haul for you. When you had asked what I thought you should do, I said the right decision is YOUR decision. I also expressed to you that no matter what your decision was I wasn’t going anywhere. The time that we have spent together I will forever hold dear to my heart ❤️
**
it’s painful to say goodbye to someone that you don’t want to let go. But it’s more painful to ask someone to stay if you know they really want to go.
**
Love you Jennifer
May you be at peace
Jenn, what is there that I can say?
I worked with you often, when on afternoons or covering a shift and on midnights too. I remember how amazingly helpful you were when I first started at Buckland. I honestly don’t think I would have the range of knowledge I have now if it wasn’t for you helping me out. You always take time to explain things and that means so much to me (being not so smart lol just remember the christmas tree/automotive clip shipment! hahah). The more we worked together, the more and better I got to know you. I learned you have a HUGE love of turtles, funny shirts, photography, stationary and especially that proud pup you call Jayce !
I’ll always remember sharing stories and laughing with you, and getting to meet those cute puppies Daisy and Duke with you too. Nights spent taking a smoke break and talking about your family or photos you took, where you would go to take them.
Jennifer, you have such a humongous heart and love for everyone! Thank you for being the best kind of person and friend anyone could ask for. I continue to pray for your healing and peace every day and will always continue to do so. Take care Jennifer, and be sure to cause some ruckus where ever this journey may take you.
Always in our hearts,
Sam (and Bentley)
Jen
I really don’t what more can be said as I poured my heart out on your fb profile. But I shall do my best. All I can really say is you enriched my life in a way few people have. You showed me what true friendship is and I shall never forget that
You make me want to be a better person and yet the selfish part of me wants you to stay here with me. But I don’t want you to suffer and I’m glad you get to go out in your own terms
I’m glad I got to see you again and really glad we got to hug one last time. You’re a true original and hope
I enriched yourlife even a fraction of how much you enriched mine.
Love always from
Your best lookin friend ☺️
Jenn,
You will never be forgotten, for as long as I’ve known you, when ever I see a turtle, I think of you…it hasn’t changed in the 10 + years and can’t see it ever changing. You’ve had a tough ride and soon you will be free of pain and ready for you next journey. Knowing you has made an impact in my life, a better friend and definitely a better worker…just tryin to keep up with you, lol
I will miss you my friend
I have worked with Jen at Buckland longer than I can remember 🙂 Although we rarely got a chance to visit face to face much because we worked different shifts, you were invaluable to our team and we couldn’t have done it without u. My heart is heavy , but I know that whenever I have challenges I don’t think I can face, just know I will think of your strength and spirit as an inspiration to keep me going. And although I don’t have a turtle at my desk, every time I see Navistar docs with the Ellis Road address, I will smile and think of you Jen .. You will be missed .. xoxo Hugs
I met Jenn on twitter around November 2020 following my stage 3 diagnosis of breast cancer. Immediately I thought ‘ now there’s a girl I’d like to be friends with ‘ . Jenn was further on in her treatment than myself and I confided how scared I was about going thru chemo. You really reassured me jenn !! And u sent me pics of your dog to cheer me up! Which worked !! I was so pleased for u when you completed chemo. Then you had your surgery which I told you wouldn’t be as bad as chemo…. sadly I myself ended up with a stage 4 diagnosis. You comforted me and I told you we were holding hands across the Internet.. I totally applaud your decision to end the suffering on your terms. My only wish is that it was legal here in England. I pray your passing is filled with live and peace. When my time comes I sincerely hope we meet and share some laughs and good times. There has to be somewhere better than this world. Try not to be scared. The next adventure is on its way ❤❤❤❤❤
Jenn,
I am so blessed to be one of your Twitter family. The time however, has been too short. I am so sorry you & your family had to go through all of this. I am very glad you are able to control your own destiny though. It’s an option I don’t have but want. I have had two heroes in my life. My mother and you. The grace and dignity you have shown during your illness is beyond words. You, and your family, are in my heart, thoughts & prayers. You will be in my heart always and I will never forget you. You have endured so much in such a small amount of time. This is not the end my friend, it is only the start to a new journey. One full of peace, no pain, no illness, much love and enlightenment. I will miss talking with you but find solace in knowing you will have no limits or boundaries. Your life source will continue to thrive. As I have said before….energy does not die. (Well, unless you live here in Texas. But then it’s just turned off and your pipes burst!) Hope that makes you smile. Your strength and memory will stay with me forever and I am so very honored to have been your friend. Until we meet again, Love
This is a rare occurrence… I have no words. I have re-written this several times and I’m still struggling to put something together. You know me as a sarcastic crazy person (which is why we get along so well!) and that just doesn’t fit right now. I wish my thoughts were as organized as our highlighters were at our desks at work. I hope that made you laugh.
I wish you courage, strength and most importantly, peace as you transition to a new journey. I know Jayce will be happy to be with you again.
I’ll think of you every time I see stationary.
‘Til we meet again, my friend. xoxo
Jenn,
I think of you often. I remember the days we met up in Chatham when we were younger. It was fun going out for coffee, working together and meeting your other friends at parties. I will cherish those memories. Will cherish you, your strength, bravery and the gifts you have given us. You are bright and beautiful and much loved.
We worked at Buckland together but in different locations on midnights and we have talked on the phone . So sorry to hear what is going on it been a pleasure knowing you and having chats.
Cancer sucks and always takes the good ones. I will always remember you .
Jennifer, you don’t know me but I’ve known Lori for a very long time and virtually, I’ve met Dawn. When I read about your journey, I thought, that is a warrior. Such complete respect for deciding how your next chapter is written and for writing it yourself. You don’t know me, however I truly believe we are all here to walk each other home. Wishing you peace at this time and to be surrounded by love.
Soon you will get to experience what’s beyond that “great white light” and for us that are older that doesn’t seem fair. You are facing the end of one journey and the beginning of another with grace and dignity. You are bravely ending your pain on your terms. I didn’t go out to Dover perhaps as mush as I should after my dad passed, (as I saw your grandmother almost weekly at my mom’s), where we could have known each other better. As that light grows bigger near the end of this journey don’t be surprised if you hear a harmonica playing and a big set of open arms reaching out to hug/welcome you. You are loved by so many and I hope you find an everlasting Peace. P.S. If there is an old guy named Harry with Pat, tell him I switched to Coors Lite and I expect it to be on ice when I get there!
Jennifer,
I know we have had our ups and downs but that Never changed how much I love my kid sister. It breaks my heart seeing you go through this. Your decision to go out on your own terms is brave. You have always been brave whether you know it or not. I will miss you, Jennifer.
I love you ♥️
Lori Langevin, Jennifer’s sister
Jen
We have been friends for a very long time and although I am not there, I am. Long ago you showed me that the light was better than the darkness and that has stayed with me. I will always keep you close to me. Blessings wee turtle. I will see you on the other side <3
Who is going to send out the Customs Santa email this year? Or leave cheese on my desk?
To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die. – Thomas Campbell
Sending warmth and light your way, and hope that the love and support of those close to you bring you comfort and peace 🙏💞 ~ Jennifer (Paul’s cousin)
It’s been a long road from our teen years to now. I’ve missed you at many points along the way. Looking back at old photos makes me smile and wish this was part of the bad dream that we will one day wake up from. Sending admiration and respect and praying for peace. 💜 Jen
Jen, what can I say that I haven’t told you already? You’ve been the best baby sister I could have asked for. From our days in Dover Centre up until now, we’ve had a bond that’s been strong over the years. There are many memories of laughter and fun, especially my visits to Windsor over the years – the ‘spunkyfish’ moniker, drinks and dancing at Changez, karaoke at Top Hat (okay, it was top something (?) and I did my best Olivia Newton-John impression that night). You were there for me for the big stuff – the births of my 3 kids that are here, the loss of the littles born to heaven, and my divorce. And now I’m returning the favour by doing my best to be there for you. I love you so much and I wish I could make this all better for you like my big sister instincts want to do. But I’m here for whatever you want or need in these last weeks, and when it’s time to leave this world, I will be right there with you as you make your transition. You will be missed so much, but I will remember you always, and will carry your memory in my heart for all of my days. XOXOXO
Although our working solo together was somewhat short I miss it. You’re funny and witty and I dig that shit! I’m glad I got the pleasure of knowing you but sad it’s being cut short!! FUCK CANCER!!! Rest in perfection!
i worked with Jen for about 8-10 years at buckland on midnights – despite the age difference we got along – we had our differences but all and all i loved Jen and wouldnt want to have worked with anyone else – i really enjoyed our eating out and our timmy’s run – i am so sorry you have to go through this and i would trade places with you in a heart beat – we had alot of good times working together and i miss you alot – love you to the moon and back until we meet again my friend
Jennifer was first a co-worker and then soon became my best friend and confidant. We talked daily, met for coffee with our fellow friends at The Second Cup downtown Windsor and went for drinks at our local drinking hole Changez by Night. To say that Jennifer changed my life would understate the importance of our friendship. It is through of Jen that I met someone that all though it didn’t work out I was blessed with an amazing son that I am proud of each and every day. Jen you have blessed my life with your friendship and no words can convey the depth love and respect I have for you. You inspire daily. You will truly be missed but more than that I will carry your friendship with me daily and be thankful for the time I was blessed to have your friendship.